These are paragraphs that I took from my journal and put together. They kind of express how I feel about a lot of different things in a more emotional/philosophical way. I hope you can relate to them.
We are all parents in a way. We all have an inner child. Mine knows all of my dreams and best intentions. He has seen how hard I have tried and he knows how much I deserve to be loved. He’s playful and smiles a lot. He believes in others and has a genuine desire to make the world a better place.
Being involved in other people’s lives takes effort. We have to learn to trust others and forgive the emotional collisions. We are all like little children at heart. Emotions are part of spirit and they do not evolve so rapidly. Being hurt is not the end of the world. Learning to grow and evolve is the key to a life with passion, energy and drive.
Trust doesn’t come in an envelope. After someone has been hurt they build walls to protect themselves. Trust comes in time with communication and fair treatment. If you can gain someone’s trust then you have access to their heart. This is why we all Live behind thick Walls.
If our motives are pure and we give all that we have then we have done the best that we can for that moment. Each situation involves others and no one is perfect. In time we will all understand what is happening.
Healing isn’t easy. When we see things through pain and fear we can hurt others trying to get out of that. It’s too late to change the past. I pray that my friends can be strong and that they have a genuine love for me so that I might not lose them all as I struggle to become more whole.
I could build a shield around my heart… but then no one would know me. I could turn everyone away that doesn’t show up already prepared …but then I would remain alone. I could give up because I don’t feel I am strong enough… but then I could never grow stronger. So I will do none of these. Instead I will bleed with love and leave no stone unturned for this is the beauty of being Human.
Most of the time if you leave something alone it will do just fine. At other times there is the need to cultivate it. The difference is that you nurture it and tend to its needs in order to increase its health and promote better growth. Humans are …cultivators and we can cultivate love if we are willing to nurture each other
Sometimes you have to show other people what’s at the heart of your pain in order to heal. Once you have exposed yourself the people that love you can help you understand. With understanding comes growth. Again, this is the beauty of being Human and our spirits grow this way.
The best gift of love is how it enables us to evolve. Insecurities and doubt can not stand against growth. I’m only human and so often am trapped by my only point of view. Quietly and gently I find myself stretching and developing into a new being. Daily I strive and sometimes it hurts but I will never give up.
Sometimes we just have to know we will be ok! No matter what the outcome of this day I will still be here just as I was when it began! If so then I have to carry on and be all that I can be and do the best I can with what I have!
When you love people you want them to be ok! I feel that way for my family, my friends, and myself! I pray for my cousin and her family hoping they will be ok! The road to healing can take a lifetime but it will never start if we don’t pick up the torch and march towards a healthier form of love!
There are more possibilities than even our imaginations can invision. Its important to try impossible things. Keep your heart just and your love passionate. We are all dancing and spinning through life making it as we go.
Peace–
Brandon
E-Mail Brandon at brandon@mygayfriendblog.com
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